Somewhere I Belong
by TammyDevil666
Summary: Ranting about demons gets Buffy sent to an institution. Once released, she moves to Sunnydale with her mother to start over, but it seems her past isn't far behind. Why does she feel so drawn to her new Watcher, and what secrets is he hiding?
1. Chapter 1

I couldn't tell you where this idea came from, but it wouldn't leave me alone until I did something with it. I will just say that this Buffy is very different, at least in the beginning. I have to admit, it was a lot of fun writing her in this. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint, but I would love to know what you think. As always, any comments would be much appreciated.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"Okay, you should have everything you need."

Buffy gave her father a look. "That's it? You're not gonna take me by the hand? Make sure I get inside without causing any trouble along the way? I'm really touched."

Hank Summers rubbed his forehead in exasperation. "I know you feel betrayed right now, but we're only doing what is best for you. I'm sure you'll thank us one day."

She scoffed. "Oh, yes, thank you so much for sending me to a mental institution. However shall I repay you for your kindness? You're so full of shit, Dad. This has nothing to do with my best interests; this is you and Mom getting rid of me because you can't handle who I am now. Bringing me here is not going to make the demons any less real."

"That is enough, young lady! I told you to never speak of that again. Demons do not exist, this is just your way of acting out for attention, but burning down your school gym was the last straw. We don't know what to do with you anymore, but maybe professionals will. Go on, your mother will be by in a week to check on you."

Buffy snatched up her bag. "Why bother? Just tell her to write," with that said, she made her way inside her new hell.

* * *

"Hey, I'm Molly, what are you in for?"

Buffy rolled her eyes, making friends was definitely not what she had in mind while being stuck in this prison. "I stabbed a man in the heart. You?" That wasn't entirely wrong, but little miss perky didn't need to know the man in question was technically already dead when she got to him.

Molly backed away slowly, her eyes widening. "Um, that's nice; I'll just catch you later."

Buffy grinned when the girl ran away; maybe her stay here wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

The whispers were really starting to get on her fucking nerves. Apparently, Molly was a pretty big gossip around these parts. It was like being in high school for the criminally insane, and now everyone was chatting about her. Oh, to be popular again, it was every teenage girl's dream, but Buffy had enough.

"What the hell are you morons talking about? If you have something to say to me, say it to my face, or shut the fuck up." A girl Buffy didn't recognize stood up; she had dark hair, with piercings and tattoos all over her body. Someone was trying a little too hard to be tough.

"You think you're real scary, do you? I heard about you, the girl who cried wolf. Or was it demon?" she mocked, the girls at her side snickering like she just told the funniest joke ever. "Aren't you a little old to believe in the Boogie Man?"

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest as the whole room started cackling, but she wasn't about to let some punk bitch intimidate her.

"Boo, look at me, I'm a terrifying vampire. I better watch it before a cheerleader stakes me."

More laughter, Buffy clenched her fists when another girl came dancing around her, wearing a black cape, plastic fangs in her mouth that were dripping with ketchup. Punk Bitch pulled the fake vampire away, staring Buffy down.

"You're nothing but a pathetic loser, making up stories just to get attention. I say she's not welcome here, girls!" she announced to the rest of the room, before turning back to Buffy. "You don't fit in. I bet you've never even gotten into a fight once in your life, probably too worried about breaking a nail. Isn't that right, princess?"

Well, that was really all Buffy could take at this point. With quick reflexes, she brought her leg up and kicked Punk Bitch right in the mouth, sending her flying into one of the nearby tables. "Care to test that theory?" she yelled down at the fallen girl, her mouth coated in blood from where Buffy knocked out a tooth. "You don't know anything about me, you stupid whore!"

Two guards showed up then, grabbing Buffy by the arms and dragging her out of there, while she struggled and screamed along the way. She was very strong for someone her size, and they ended up having to sedate her to stop her from kicking out at them. Buffy knew what this meant, another visit to the isolation room, and really couldn't care less. At least in there she got to be alone, that was her last thought before everything went black.

* * *

"Why don't you tell me what happened?"

Buffy shrugged, slouching down in her chair. "I kicked someone in the face. There's really no story there."

Rupert Giles took his glasses off to clean them, putting them back on after a moment. "I understand that she was taunting you."

"Isn't that what everyone does here? We're all different, trapped in this nightmare; we have to take out our aggressions somewhere. She had it coming. Are we done yet? I don't really see the point of these lame therapy sessions. No offense, you seem like a decent enough guy and all, but you're boring the hell out of me, and we're really not getting much done."

He shook his head. "I think we have had some progress, Miss Summers. Why don't we talk more about the demons? Do you believe they are real?"

Buffy raised her eyebrows, not clear if he was making fun of her, or if he was really curious to know. "What difference does it make? It's not like anyone believes me. Look, I'll make this brief. I know what goes on in the world now, I've seen more than I care to admit. A friend was killed right in front of me, he was like a mentor. Sure, he was some old, stuffy guy, but he was all I had. My parents have never understood me, and the second I started ranting about demons, they didn't hesitate to send me to the loony bin. And hey, maybe I am crazy, but I know what I saw."

He nodded, making a note in his journal. "I'm not going to tell you that you're crazy, Buffy. If you believe they are real, then that is all that matters. No one has a right to tell you otherwise."

Buffy could tell he was being sincere, and that thought confused her. "Right, can I go now?"

Giles nodded again, giving her a small smile. "You may go; we'll finish our discussion next week."

Buffy wasn't one to be told twice, she shot out of her seat and immediately left the office.

He picked up his phone once she was gone, dialing a familiar number. "It's Rupert Giles; I have found the new Slayer."

* * *

So, do I have any interest for this one? I know it's a bit out there and probably doesn't make much sense right now, but I hope you would stick with me. I promise much Spuffiness if you do;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"So, what do you think?"

Buffy entered the house, taking a look around. "It has four walls and a roof, what am I supposed to think?"

Joyce let out a sigh, closing the door behind them. "This is a new start for us, Buffy. I would really appreciate you giving this place a chance."

She shrugged. "Fine, I suppose anything is better than the crazy house." Buffy was surprised to be released from her prison as soon as she was, figuring that she would be spending at least a year in there. Her mother got a new job offer shortly after, which moved them to Sunnydale, a town where pretty much nothing ever happened. Her father was still back in Los Angeles, her mom having caught him with his secretary one night, therefore giving her another reason to pack up and move them. Buffy was still pissed at her mother for agreeing to send her to that hellhole, but it was nothing like the hatred she held for her father, so it was obvious which one she would prefer living with. Not that she had much of a choice after getting kicked out of her last school; Sunnydale was the only place that would take her.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am for everything that happened, honey, but I'm only looking out for you. Things will be good here, I know it, and you've already gotten so much better."

Buffy rolled her eyes, letting her mother believe what she wanted. She only pretended that demons didn't exist for her sake, but Buffy knew they were very much real. At least in this town, she hopefully wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. They brought her nothing but trouble.

* * *

"Have a good first day, sweetie, and please try not to get kicked out."

Buffy gave a small smile, which quickly faded once she got out of the car, glancing up at her new school. Getting kicked out of this place would be a blessing, but she would try to make the best of it.

* * *

She saw a girl at the water fountain, getting picked on by what she assumed was the head cheerleader. Buffy couldn't believe that she used to be one of those girls. Shaking her head, she made her way over to them. Buffy shoved the cheerleader out of the way, taking a drink from the water fountain, while the other girl stared at her intriguingly.

"Um, excuse me? Did you not see me standing here?"

Buffy gazed up at the brunette, shrugging her shoulders. "I saw you; I just chose not to care."

Her jaw dropped, not used to being talked to like that. "Okay, you're new here, so you obviously don't know who I am. I'm Cordelia Chase, the most popular girl in this school, and you better get that through your head. I'll only let it go this once, but don't get in my way again, you got it?"

Buffy laughed, looking her up and down. "Yeah, I'll keep that in mind."

Cordelia gave her a disgusted expression, and with a flick of her wrist, she headed back down the hall.

"Wow, that was amazing. No one talks back to Cordelia."

She turned to the other brunette standing there. In another life, this poor girl would have been on Buffy's list of potential students to torture, but that wasn't the case now. It seemed like she got enough shit from the popular crowd already. "I'm from LA, I've seen worse than her."

"Neat, I'm Willow Rosenberg, fellow nerd of Sunnydale High."

Buffy took the hand that she was offering. "Buffy Summers, nice to meet you." She didn't know where this sudden politeness came from, but there was just something so innocent about this girl. It was something she hoped the girl kept, Buffy's innocence was ripped away from her after discovering her newfound calling, and she wouldn't wish that on anyone.

* * *

She walked into the dreary library, which was completely deserted. If she didn't need books for her classes, Buffy never would have even bothered setting foot in there.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" A tingle ran up her spine, but it quickly vanished. Buffy shook the feeling away and turned around, only to bump into a hard chest. Strong arms stopped her from falling, gazing at her savior. He wasn't that much taller than her, with a mop of brownish, blond curls. It looked like he used to bleach his hair, but hadn't done it in a while; glasses adorned his features, and he wore a tweed jacket that didn't seem to fit with the rest of him. She glanced down at his hand, seeing an odd looking ring on his finger. Something didn't seem right about that, but when she looked back up at his face, she realized just how blue his eyes were, even with the glasses hiding them.

"Sorry, are you all right?"

Add a sexy British accent to the list; she licked her lips before nodding. "Yeah, I didn't know anyone was here."

He smiled. "I don't get many visitors. What can I do for you?"

She caught herself from staring, following him to the front desk. "I need some school books. English, Chemistry, and Math," she said the last one with distaste. "I'm new here." Buffy didn't know why she felt the need to include that, it was probably obvious.

His eyes lit up. "Buffy Summers?"

She was surprised that he knew her name. "Good call; guess I'm the only new kid."

He shook his head. "I'm William Pratt, the librarian; I was told that you would be coming. I think I have just what you're looking for."

Buffy stepped back when he placed a leather bound book on the desk, it was large, and had the word 'vampyr' on the cover. She stepped back even further. "That's not what I'm looking for."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm very sure," she responded, taking off when he turned away from her. So much for a fresh start, it seemed her calling would never leave her alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Bloody fuck, he could have handled that a lot better. The girl just got here and was obviously uncomfortable; he should have eased her into it. Even though Buffy had already known of her calling, she didn't seem to be very accepting of it, and after Rupert explained about what happened to her, it was understandable. She was here for a reason, though, this town needed a Slayer. William just had to make her realize that. After talking with Rupert a while back, he was prepared to deal with a very troubled young girl. What he wasn't prepared for was how utterly beautiful that young girl would be, but he quickly banished those thoughts. Beautiful or not, he couldn't let himself go down that road again. This girl needed a Watcher, and that's all he would be. William wouldn't allow himself to get too close this time; he just had to keep trying to remind himself of that. Besides, if Buffy ever found out the truth, she would likely want nothing to do with him.

* * *

"Hey, Buffy, come sit with us."

She smiled at the girl waving her over, sitting down at the lunch table across from a dark haired boy.

"This is Xander Harris, my best friend. Xander, this is Buffy Summers, she just moved here," Willow introduced them.

He beamed at her. "Wills told me all about how you stood up to Cordelia. Man, I wish I could have seen that. You're officially my Queen; I worship at your feet." Xander bowed to her, extending his arm.

Willow rolled her eyes. "Don't mind him, he thinks he's funny."

He sat back down. "I am funny, and don't you forget it."

Buffy shook her head in amusement. These two were quite a pair, but realized that she actually liked them, and that was something she never would have admitted in her other life.

* * *

"I need to speak with you, Miss Summers."

She walked away from him. "Sorry, my mom's waiting for me."

William hurried after her. "I only need a moment of your time."

Buffy stopped to look at him, letting out a breath. "I'm not doing this anymore, okay? Let someone else be the damn Slayer, I officially retire. It hasn't even been a full year yet, and I've lost everything because of that. My friends, my family, I got thrown into a fucking mental institution because my parents thought I was crazy. I'm trying to build a new life for myself here, and that shit is the last thing I need."

He nodded. "I am sorry for all that you've been through and if there was another option, I would gladly find it, but that's not how things work. You are the only active Slayer; the only way for another one to be called is…"

"My death, yeah, I know the drill. Seriously, what is wrong with you people? How can one girl be expected to handle all of that responsibility? Who came up with these fucking rules? I'm only sixteen. I didn't sign on for any of this, and I want no part of it. I'm done."

William watched as she headed out of the school, needing to get her to listen to him somehow. Aria was never this much trouble, but things were a lot different then. Buffy Summers would be quite a challenge.

* * *

Her mom was working late at the gallery, and Buffy had the house all to herself. If she was back in LA, she would probably be out patrolling with Merrick right about now, but that felt like a lifetime ago. He was dead, and she was left alone with the creatures of the night. William seemed like a nice guy, but she couldn't go through that again. Sure, she'd only known Merrick a couple of months before he was killed, but it was long enough for her to get attached. In that short time, he became like a father to her, far more than her biological one ever was. Not that she was having fatherly thoughts for William, a world of no on that one. He only looked to be in his early twenties, definitely no parental thoughts whatsoever.

A knock sounded at the front door, breaking Buffy out of her reverie. She went to answer it, rolling her eyes at the man standing there. "So, what, you're a stalker now? How did you know where I lived?"

William smiled, taking notice of the adorable pajamas she was wearing, but got right to the point. "From the school, I figured you might feel more comfortable talking on your turf. I'm not about to give up, Buffy, you need to hear me out."

Buffy gave in, this guy wouldn't quit otherwise. She moved back, giving him a look when he didn't budge. "Why are you just standing there? Come inside already, you're letting all the heat in."

He gave a sigh of relief, entering through the doorway. "This is a nice place."

"Whatever, take a seat. You're in luck; my mom shouldn't be home for another couple of hours. Although, if you give me a hard time and refuse to leave when I tell you to, I will cry 'rape' loud enough for the neighbors to hear."

William laughed, but had a feeling she was being entirely serious. "I'm sure it won't come to that," he said, sitting down on the couch.

Buffy sat across from him, crossing her arms. "Okay, out with it, I don't have all night."

Oh, this girl would definitely be a challenge, of that he was certain. "First of all, I'm sorry for being so callous in the library. I should have handled that better. I didn't mean to just spring it on you, but I've been waiting for your arrival. Your therapist at the institution, Rupert Giles, is an old mate of mine. He told me all about you. It was actually he who got your mother the job here, and why you were able to leave so suddenly. He has connections, I guess you could say. Rupert used to be a Watcher, but he didn't agree with a lot of the Council's ideas, so they fired him. He thought I would be good for you, and that's why he made arrangements for you to come here. See, I'm not exactly employed by the Council, but I am a Watcher. At least, I used to be. The bottom line is, whether I work for them or not, this town is located on a hellmouth. It's not safe for anyone, and we desperately need a Slayer. We have agreed to keep you off of the Council's radar, but in order for that to happen, Giles has been reinstated as your Watcher. He will be reporting to the Council to keep away their suspicions, but I would be the one to train you. As long as they think you're doing a good job, they won't bother checking up on you. Of course, you getting sent to the institution put a hold on things. Giles assured them that he could help you once you were released, get you back on the right track. I guarantee that if they sent one of their Watcher's, you wouldn't be given a choice at all. They like their girls to be puppets, train them from the time they're in diapers, but you're different. I knew that the moment I saw you. I think you're exactly what this town needs, but it's up to you. I'm not like those wankers, Buffy. I won't force this on you if it's not something you really wanted."

She thought about it, standing up and making her way over to the front door.

William sighed in disappointment, following after her and exiting the house. He gave her one more look, waiting for her to say something and when it appeared that she wasn't going to, he nodded and turned away, stopping when she finally spoke up.

"We'll start training tomorrow after school, at your place; I'm not sure how I would explain that to my mom. I'll tell her I'm at a friend's house or something. Hell, she'll just be so happy that I'm making friends, she won't care to ask too many questions, but this is how it's gonna be. If I agree to this, you have to let me call the shots once in a while. And if I want out, you let me go, no arguments. Do we have a deal?"

He grinned, giving her another nod. "Deal."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"You're lowering your arm again."

Buffy glared at him. "If you say that one more time…"

"I wouldn't have to keep saying it if you would just do as you're told," William responded.

"Okay, you know what? I think it's time for a break."

William decided it was best not to argue. He did agree that she could call some of the shots, no matter how much he would come to regret that decision.

Buffy grabbed a water bottle, taking a long drink from it. They'd been sparring for over an hour, and William impressed her with his moves. It wasn't something she would have expected from him. "How many Slayers have you trained?"

He looked pained before answering. "Only one, I quit after she died." William didn't think she was ready to know the whole truth yet, and neither was he.

Buffy sat down on the floor. "How did she die?"

William sat beside her, thinking of what to say. "We got into a fight one night; I can't even remember what it was about now. It was probably something very trivial, but Aria took off after that, and I decided it was best to give her some space. Hours went by and she didn't come back, so I went looking for. I found her in the cemetery, her throat ripped out, and I knew she was completely drained. A vampire was standing over her, I had so much rage inside of me that I took him on by myself, but I was obviously no match for him. I was beaten pretty badly, but he just left me there instead of finishing the job. Left me next to the dead body of my charge, he wanted me to suffer and death would have been too easy. Nothing was ever the same after that; I never stopped blaming myself for getting her killed. I should have protected her more."

Buffy didn't know what to think, taking his hand in hers. "She was more than just a charge, wasn't she?"

William stared at her in surprise, giving her a brief nod. "I loved her. It was forbidden, of course, falling for your Slayer, but I was never one to follow the rules. I made a vow to protect others after that, but the Council made sure I was to avoid all contact with any of the girls. Giles was the only one I kept in touch with, having had enough with the Council himself. I moved to Sunnydale, hoping that with its reputation a Slayer would get sent here, but it has yet to happen, until Giles told me about you and made it possible."

She nodded, releasing his hand. "You seem kind of young for this gig. How old are you, anyway?"

William was caught off guard with the question, clearing his throat. "Twenty-six, but I feel so much older. I've seen a lot in my time, more than I care to admit."

Buffy stood up. "Well, I should probably be getting home now."

"I hope this doesn't make you wary of me, Buffy. I don't intend for history to repeat itself, you have nothing to worry about."

She gave him a smile. "Who's worried? I'll see you tomorrow," and with that said, she left his apartment.

* * *

"_Do you really think you can defeat me, little girl?"_

"_Maybe not, but at least I'll die trying," Buffy spat, hitting the dark haired vampire full force. They matched blow for blow, but he was too strong, and she was starting to weaken._

_He threw her to the floor, standing over her. "I wanted you all to myself, but your Watcher apparently didn't get the memo."_

_Buffy cried out when the vampire grabbed Merrick from behind the bush, snapping his neck like a twig, and dropping his body to the ground._

"_I suppose we can finish this another time. I have a feeling you'll be a lot of fun, Slayer." _

_Tears formed in her eyes as she gazed at the lifeless body of her Watcher. She didn't even acknowledge the vampire's departure; all she could see was Merrick as she crawled over to him. Buffy placed a hand on his face, closing his eyes. She lay on his chest, crying her heart out. "You can't leave me. I can't do this alone. Please, don't leave me." _

_

* * *

_

Buffy awoke in a cold sweat, taking deep breaths to try and calm herself. She was hoping the dreams would have stopped by now, but there was no such luck. That vampire's face would always haunt her nightmares. She felt sick knowing that he was still out there somewhere, wreaking havoc on the world. Buffy actually hoped to come across him again, and this time she would be ready.

* * *

"God, why do I have to study these? There must be a million of them, it's bad enough I have to actually study for school."

William rolled his eyes. "We went over this, Buffy. These books will help you learn what you're up against. There are many creatures in this world, not just vampires. These will help you discover more about them, so you're not completely blinded if you ever come across one."

She scrunched up her nose. "Gross, this one's weapon is to throw snot at you. I hope I don't meet him."

He chuckled. "Let's hope not, Fyarl demons are nasty pillocks."

"I knew she was a freak, hanging out with the librarian. What a total loser," Cordelia claimed as she entered the library, her sheep trailing behind her. "This place is like a morgue, seriously disturbing."

William groaned, turning his attention on the newcomers. "Can I help you with something?"

"I need a poetry book or whatever, for my English class. We're studying that Emmett Dickinson person."

William exchanged an amused glance with Buffy, before focusing back on the cheerleader. "I think you mean Emily Dickinson, and you can find them on the lower shelf," he said, indicating which direction for her to go.

Cordelia looked bored, admiring her cuticles. "Whatever, I'll meet you guys later. Owen totally eats up this poetry crap. He'll be mine before the day is over," she told her posse, and then made her way to the stacks.

William turned back at Buffy. "Bloody annoying bint; don't let those girls get to you. You're twice the woman she is."

Buffy smiled, gazing back down at her book. She was developing a huge crush on William, and with what he told her of his previous Slayer, no good could possibly come out of it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"You actually kicked her in the face?"

Buffy dodged the vampire's blow. "She was talking shit about me; I just wanted to shut her up. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

William laughed, kicking his opponent in the leg, and then landing a punch on the chin. There was nothing like a good spot of violence, and as much as he loved to watch Buffy in action, she was bloody poetry in motion; he wouldn't stand back while she faced her assailants alone. William would always be there to lend a helping hand whenever she needed one. Although, this was probably not the best time to be having a conversation, as he was distracted enough for his vampire to get the upperhand, causing William to fall to the ground, the vampire jumping on him a second later. Before he even knew what happened, a cloud of dust was currently in the vampire's place, Buffy now on top of him after having staked his attacker.

They stared at each other for what felt like forever.

He cupped her cheek, brushing some of the ash away.

Buffy's eyes lowered to his mouth, and without thinking of the repercussions, she pressed her lips to his.

William was surprised by her bold move, but soon found himself returning her kiss. It lasted mere seconds before Buffy was yanked away from him; they were too lost in each other to notice the approach of another vampire. William was up immediately, attacking the vampire for his rude interruption, but was also grateful at the same time. He punched him repeatedly, pulling out his stake when the vampire's eyes widened in sudden recognition.

"Hey, I know you…"

William thrust the stake in his heart, cutting off whatever he was about to say. "I hate when they always have to talk." He brushed himself off, and then went to help Buffy up. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, shaking away the dizziness from hitting her head on a tombstone. "Yeah, I can't believe I let him sneak up on me like that. I can always sense when a vamp is near, guess I was a bit distracted."

William avoided her gaze. They were both distracted, and that nearly got her killed. This was why he couldn't let himself get too close again. He lost Aria, and he wasn't about to lose Buffy as well. That just wasn't an option. "Right, you should be getting home now. I think that's enough for one night."

Buffy was confused when he walked away, wondering if she did something wrong.

* * *

She was getting beyond frustrated. William hardly said anything to her when he walked her home, and he'd been ignoring her at school. Buffy didn't handle rejection well. She was the most popular girl at Hemery High, and yeah, that obviously wasn't in the cards anymore, but she wasn't about to take William's unexpected cold shoulder act. He was going to give her some answers, and Buffy knew just how to get what she wanted.

* * *

William's jaw nearly dropped when he opened his door to see Buffy standing there, wearing barely anything. It was a lacy negligee that was basically see through, something you would wear if you were about to go to bed, not to walk around town. He immediately hauled her into his apartment, so the neighbors wouldn't get an eyeful.

"What the bloody fuck are you wearing? I can't believe you actually left your house in that."

She shrugged. "I didn't have any clean clothes. Mom forgot to do the laundry this week, and I meant to grab my jacket on the way out, but I guess it just slipped my mind."

He raised his eyebrows. "Somehow I doubt that. What are you doing here?"

Buffy moved further into the apartment, turning back to him after a moment. "I wanted to talk, and I knew this would get your attention. Why have you been avoiding me? Is it because we kissed?"

"It's more than that, love. We can't get carried away like that on patrol. One wrong move could end in your death, and I won't be responsible for that. I'm already getting too bloody attached, and I told myself that wouldn't be happening again. I can't get involved with you. All we can ever have is a strictly professional relationship."

"That sounds pretty boring to me. I know you feel what I do, William. Hell, I felt it when I was lying on top of you. I know you want more, and you don't exactly work for the Council anymore, so it's not like they could fire you."

"You are missing the point," he said, trying to make her understand. "There is a lot you don't know about me, Buffy. I'm too fucking old for you."

"I'll be seventeen soon, it's not that big of a difference. What else don't I know? If you're so concerned about it, then just tell me."

William shook his head. "I couldn't bear the thought of you hating me."

"I could never hate you," she responded with complete sincerity.

He rubbed his eyes, desperately needing a drink. "It's late, you should go home now. I'll see you in school tomorrow for your study session."

"William…"

He held his hand up, effectively cutting her off. "Please, Buffy, just go home. I can't do this right now."

She felt hurt at his rejection again, but decided to leave him alone for the time being. She headed to the front door, but was startled when he suddenly pulled her back, draping a leather coat around her shoulders.

"Keep that on until you get to your house, all right? I'll retrieve it the next time I come over."

Buffy nodded, pulling the coat firmly around her, inhaling the scent that was all William. She mostly only saw the tweed during school hours, but had a feeling there was a whole other side to him that she had yet to discover. Maybe some day, he would finally come clean about what he was hiding. No matter what it was, though, it wouldn't change the way she felt about him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

He couldn't avoid her forever, but tonight William decided to patrol alone. He was starting to tire of the librarian look; it just wasn't in his nature. Earlier that day, he decided it was time to bleach his hair again, adorning his long leather duster before heading out to the cemetery. It was like a second skin, and William never realized just how much he missed it. Three vampires dusted later, and he was starting to feel like his old self again, until he came across a dead body. William felt for a pulse, but it was too late for the poor sod. He noticed the letter 'A' carved into the man's cheek, knowing exactly whose trademark that was.

"Fuck," William cursed, heading back to town. He needed some answers.

* * *

Willy's eyes widened when a familiar leather clad man entered his bar, gulping at the look of determination on his face.

"Hey, Spike, it's been a while."

William took a seat, deciding that he didn't mind hearing his nickname in that moment. He wanted this lowlife to think of him as Spike, which would likely get him what he wanted even faster. "Not long enough. What do you know about these new vampires in town?"

"I haven't heard anything," he muttered.

William grabbed him by the collar, getting into his face. "You're a snitch, Willy, and an eavesdropper on top of that. I know you must have heard something, and I want to know what that is. I won't break your face if you cooperate."

He gulped again, holding his hands up. "Okay, I don't know much; just that it's three master vampires. Two female, and one male. Apparently, they always travel together, and these are not vamps you wanna be messing with. I heard they're gunning for the Slayer. Word must have gotten out about her being in Sunnydale."

William let him go, having a really bad feeling about this. If they were in town, Buffy was in a lot of trouble.

* * *

If William wanted to be all with the avoiding, that was just fine with her, but she wasn't about to stay inside and do nothing. She was going to have some fun, which was why she found herself at the Bronze later that night, Sunnydale's only real club. Willow and Xander were out on the dance floor, having the time of their lives. Buffy told herself that she would dance later, but was finding it hard to have a good time. She hated how William was always on her mind, no matter what she did.

Suddenly, her vamp vibes went crazy, and she searched the packed club, wondering how she could possibly find a vampire in this crowd. Buffy headed to the back where the restrooms were, pulling out her stake. She felt a presence close by, and grabbed the person by the neck, stake aimed at her heart. It was then that Buffy recognized the person, snatching her stake away.

"God, what is your childhood trauma?"

Buffy released Cordelia, shoving the weapon in her back pocket. "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

"You really are a mental case, you know that? I have to call everyone I know right now," she snapped, yanking out her cell phone to do just that.

Buffy rolled her eyes, making her way back into the club. So much for thinking she could ever be popular again, not that she really cared about that anymore. Buffy shuddered to think that she used to ever be like Cordelia Chase. Maybe some good did come out of spending months in that institution; it showed her what was really important, and made her a better person in the process. Sure, she still had major issues, but at least she was no longer a snobby cheerleader.

* * *

William entered his apartment, but instantly knew that he wasn't alone.

"Who's there?"

A woman giggled, stepping out of the shadows. "A happy memory, my Spike."

William let out the breath he'd been holding. "Not exactly how I would put it, Drusilla. Where is he? I know you're not here alone."

"You always were smarter than we gave you credit for," a man said, wrapping his arms around the dark haired beauty.

"Angelus, to what do I owe this displeasure?"

"I heard some very interesting things lately. That you've been training the new Slayer. Now, why would you do that? In case you forgot, you're not a Watcher anymore."

"Someone has to look out for her," William remarked. "Especially knowing that you and your whores are in town, but speaking of whores, where's Darla?"

Angelus scowled. "She's back at the lair, not that I would tell you where that is. We decided to make a home here. I mean, honestly, did you really think you could keep the girl all to yourself? That's very selfish of you, William."

He clenched his fists at his side. "I'm only going to tell you this once, get the fuck out of my town. You won't be going anywhere near her."

Drusilla grabbed her skull. "Oh, it's so sad, our boy has fallen again. He'll only get hurt by the sunshine."

Angelus laughed. "Is that a fact? You fell for another Slayer? You really are a fucking idiot, Spike. What makes you think this will be any different from the last time? Sweet Aria, the taste of her blood was delicious. I wonder how this girl tastes."

William dug his nails into his palms, trying to stay calm, but all he wanted to do was rip the bastard's head off.

"I've seen her before, you know. Buffy Summers, we fought once. Well, if you could even call it that. I killed her Watcher, the poor girl was devastated. I can just see it now, you losing yet another Slayer you care for, and her losing another Watcher. It's rather poetic, don't you think? Does she even know the truth about you?" He shook his head, giving William a sympathetic expression. "No, of course she doesn't. Do you really think she would love you when she finds out? You'll be better off if you join us."

"That will never happen."

"Fine, but it's your funeral. Let's go, baby, we have more important things to do. Until next time, William." Angelus walked out, pulling Drusilla with him.

William watched them go, running his fingers through his hair. It was getting harder for him to keep the truth from Buffy, even more so knowing that Angelus was around and could go after her at any moment. He told her that history wouldn't be repeating itself, and was very determined to keep that promise. She was going to be the longest lasting Slayer ever, he would see to that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Buffy let herself into William's apartment when he didn't respond to her knocks. He gave her a key not too long ago, and she decided it was time to take advantage of that. The place was completely dark, so she made her way back to his bedroom, pausing at the sight before her. William was asleep, sprawled out on his bed, shirtless, and with a sheet covering his lower half. She wondered if he was wearing anything underneath, stepping further into the room. She took her shoes off and lay down beside him, gazing at his beautiful features. He looked so peaceful. Buffy knew he would most likely freak to find her this close to him, but she was finding it so hard to care. She rested her head on his chest, touching her lips to his smooth skin. That one gesture caused him to stir, his eyes opening to peer sleepily at her. She held him tighter, burying her face in his shoulder.

"Please, don't make me go."

William couldn't turn her away, not when she was pleading with him like that. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. He pressed his lips to hers in a soft caress, which soon became more intense as Buffy returned the kiss. William pulled her to his chest, kissing her passionately and not giving a fuck about the consequences. He never wanted it to end, but breathing soon became an issue. He released her delectable mouth, pecking her nose, her closed eyelids, and then moving back down to her lips. He knew this was dangerous territory. There was still so much that she didn't know, but when she kissed him like that, it was hard to remember why he shouldn't be doing it. She tasted so sweet.

Buffy's hands roamed down his body, slipping under the sheet to feel that he was definitely not wearing anything underneath.

He gasped at her touch, ripping his mouth away and gently removing her hand from his anatomy. Snogging was one thing, but he wasn't ready for anything else just yet. Not when he was keeping secrets from her. "There will be time for that later, Buffy. Right now, we need to talk."

The tone of his voice worried her. "I'm sorry to just show up like this. I know it's really late, but I needed to see you. I can't stand you being mad at me."

William shook his head; giving the hand he was holding a comforting squeeze. "I'm not mad at you, love. There's something I have to tell you, about my past."

Her eyes widened, nodding for him to continue.

"I had a visit from a vampire today. Angelus, a bloody sadistic bloke. He was the one who killed Aria, and I just discovered that he is also responsible for the death of your previous Watcher."

Buffy jerked away from him. "He's in Sunnydale?"

William nodded. "Yes, and he's not here alone. These are the most vicious vampires you've ever dealt with, Buffy."

She jumped out of his bed, pacing back and forth. "I always knew he was bound to show up, but I didn't think it would actually happen. I promised myself I would get vengeance for Merrick's death if I ever saw that monster again. I'm not letting him get away this time."

William put his pants on, standing up to join her, and grabbing her shoulders before she could make a hole in his floor. "You're not ready to face him, pet. He's very strong, and the women he has with him are as devious as they come. Aria wasn't the only Slayer he's killed, Angelus is known for it. He's obsessed, whenever he hears of a new Slayer; he seeks her out, usually going after her family and friends first, if she has them. Drusilla was about to become a nun when she was human. She wasn't even a Slayer, but he saw her one night and knew he had to have her. The bastard made her insane by killing everyone she held dear, and then burning her church to the ground. When that wasn't enough, he turned her into a demon. Darla is his sire, she's over four hundred, and the most demented bitch you could ever meet. You can't go after him on your own, let alone all three of them. You're just not strong enough yet, but with more training…"

"I can't just sit around and do nothing while he's in my town, William. Everyone he kills will be my fault because I wasn't strong enough to stop him, I'll probably never be strong enough, but I have to do something."

He kissed her forehead, holding her close. "And you will, sweetheart. We will take him on together, but when the time is right. I guarantee, he won't know what hit him. They're all going to get what's coming to them, I promise you that."

She smiled, gazing up at him. "Sweetheart? Does this mean you're not against us being a couple now?"

William didn't even know he let the endearment slip out, but he wouldn't take it back for the world, not when it put that gorgeous smile on her face. "Yeah, I guess that's what it means."

Buffy kissed his lips tenderly, wrapping her arms back around him.

William held her tighter, thinking about what this would mean for them. For one thing, it meant that he would try even harder to protect her now, but Buffy still didn't know the entire truth. He feared her reaction once she found out.

"I could stay like this forever."

He had no arguments with that.

"I was at the Bronze tonight, but it was so boring without you," she told him. "I thought I felt vampires in the club, and nearly staked Cordelia. I don't think she'll ever be my friend now."

William laughed, knowing she cared less about being friends with that girl.

She looked up at him. "I didn't see any vamps, so I just took off and patrolled for a bit. You must have done a pretty good job, I didn't come across anything. It was actually kind of disappointing. Hey, what happened to your hair?"

"You just now noticed it? I'm hurt, Summers."

Buffy shrugged. "It's dark in here, and I was a bit preoccupied with the kissing. It looks really good," she said, running her fingers through his newly bleached hair, surprised by how soft it was.

He felt shivers down his spine, taking her hand in his. "We should be getting some sleep. Are you sure you should be out this late? I wouldn't want to get you in trouble with your mum."

She waved her hand in the air. "Mom's in LA for the weekend, more divorce crap to deal with. I'll be happy when that's over. I guess I'll be staying here tonight, if that's okay with you."

William grinned. "You'll get no complaints from me." He pulled her down on his bed, deciding it would be best to leave the pants on.

Buffy snuggled up at his side, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

He wrapped his arms around her, touching his lips to the crown of her head. With the thought that his girl was safe for the night, William drifted off into a deep slumber.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Where did you get this?" Buffy asked, fingering the ring on his hand. "It looks really old, and to be honest, kind of ugly."

He cleared his throat, thinking of what to tell her. "It's a family heirloom, belonged to my mother. She gave it to me when she passed."

Buffy glanced up at him, feeling awful for her words now. "I'm sorry; I didn't know it was that important to you. I shouldn't have said anything. I guess that explains why you never take it off."

William nodded, deciding to change the subject. "How are things at school? I only ever see you when you stop by the library."

"Well, maybe you would see me more if you ever left that place. I don't know how you can stand being cooped up in there all day, it would drive me crazy."

He chuckled. "It's my job."

"Seems like a waste of a job to me, it's not like anyone ever actually goes in there." She silently cursed herself, sitting up in his bed. "Sorry, I can't seem to stop putting my foot in."

William pulled her back down to his side, pressing his lips to her forehead. "You don't have to apologize for saying what's on your mind. Get some more rest, it's still pretty early."

Buffy wasn't tired, but she shut her eyes and tried to do just that.

William remained awake, finding it hard to look away from her. She had come to mean so much to him in only a few months. He feared what would happen if he ever lost her, but hoped to never find out.

* * *

"You know, I'm really starting to love this library. There are so many places to hide in."

William laughed, making a path down her smooth throat, using his tongue to lick the salt from her skin. "If we get caught, I could be fired. Your school life would be boring without me."

Buffy trailed her fingers through his hair, bringing his mouth back to hers. "I guess we'll just have to be very quiet, then. That is if we can manage it."

He picked her up, holding her against a nearby bookshelf as she wrapped her legs around his waist. William slid his hand under her skirt, pushing her sodden panties out of the way, and slipping two fingers inside of her folds. He caught her squeal with his mouth as she came all over his fingers a couple seconds later.

Buffy panted, resting her head against his shoulder.

William held her close, letting her down after a moment. "See, we can do quiet."

She slapped his chest, fixing herself up. "You're just lucky I was right about no one ever coming in here."

He gave her one more peck on the lips, making his way out of the stacks to see that the place was still just as deserted as ever. "I think we should make more use of the hour by actually getting some studying done."

Buffy groaned, following him over to a pile of books that occupied one of the tables. She liked what they were doing before a whole lot better.

* * *

"You never told me what you wanted for your birthday."

She shrugged, not really caring to discuss that. "Surprise me."

William stopped to look at her. "It should be something special. You only turn seventeen once. And when you're a Slayer…" he trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence.

"Right, I should just count my blessings that I've made it this long. I'm not trying to be difficult; I just don't care to celebrate my birthday. I haven't had a decent one since I was six; it's always nothing but a disaster. I would rather just avoid it entirely this year."

William knew when she wanted a subject dropped, and decided to let it go. They still had three more weeks until her birthday; he would bring it up again later.

"How old was Aria when she died?"

He was taken aback by her sudden question. "She just turned nineteen."

Buffy nodded, feeling that no more words needed to be said. They just had a nice night out together, one that didn't end in her staking vampires, and she didn't want to ruin it by bringing up the past, especially when she could tell how much it still hurt him to talk about.

"Give me your money!" a man yelled, jumping in front of them, a gun in his hand.

William immediately pulled Buffy behind him, even though he could tell she was ready for a fight. Vampires were one thing, but humans with firearms were a completely different situation. "We don't have anything on us. Just put the gun down, no one has to get hurt."

He shook his head, raising the weapon higher. "I have to do this, man. I've got no choice; just give me whatever you have. I don't wanna have to use this."

William stepped closer, possibly making a big mistake in the process, but he didn't see any other options. "I'll make a deal with you. Give me the gun, and you can go free. I won't tell anyone about this. We never saw you, but this isn't the answer."

He glanced back and forth between them, his eyes landing on the pretty blonde. "That's a nice necklace your girl has there. If you hand it over, I'll let you both go."

Buffy touched the silver cross dangling from her neck. It was a gift from her grandmother, the only good thing she was ever given and wasn't about to part with it, not even with this bastard's threats. "I'm not giving you anything, you sick fuck."

William glared at Buffy, silently telling her to keep quiet.

"You've got a mouth on you, bitch. I'd like to see it wrapped around my cock, while your boyfriend over here watched."

Buffy laughed. "Is that supposed to intimidate me? You're pathetic, you know that? Is this how you usually get girls? Wave a gun in their face until they're scared enough to blow you? Newsflash, asshole, I'm not like other girls." She attacked him then, trying to get the gun away, but he had a pretty tight grip as he tried to fight her off. Buffy vaguely heard William's screams in the background, but wasn't about to lose focus this time. If she didn't stop this guy, he would only go after someone else, and Buffy couldn't let that happen.

Before she even knew what happened, the gun went off and their wannabe robber ran away, probably nearly shitting in his pants, which was proof enough that he most likely had no intention of shooting them. She turned back to William, prepared for another lecture, but her eyes widened when she noticed the blood on his shirt. She caught him before he fell, tears stinging her eyes. "No, please, no, this can't happen to me again. You can't leave me! I won't let you!" The tears clouded her vision, but nothing could stop her from seeing what was right in front of her. The bullet lodged in William's abdomen suddenly popped out, the wound immediately closing, until there was nothing left. It was as if he was never shot at all.

Buffy backed away from him, finally moving her gaze up to his face. With her worry of him dying, she didn't take notice of the fact that his forehead now had ridges, yellow eyes staring at her instead of the blue that she was so used to. "God, no," she gasped, her hands coming up to cover her mouth.

William's face turned back to his human visage, giving her a saddened expression. "Buffy, I can explain."

Buffy shook her head, moving further away when he tried to step nearer to her, throwing her hand up to stop him in his tracks. "Don't come any closer," she said, in a surprisingly calm voice.

"Please, love, don't be afraid of me. I would never hurt you."

If it was possible, those words made her cry even harder. "It's a little too late for that." With a newly broken heart, Buffy took off into the night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

This was just a bad dream. She would wake up, and William would still be her sweet, caring boyfriend. He wasn't a vampire. That just couldn't be possible, except she knew it was. She saw it with her own eyes, but vampire or not, there was no way he could have healed that fast. Something more was going on, and Buffy knew that she had to talk to him if she was going to get any answers. What would she even say to him? How could he have kept this from her all this time? Was it part of a bigger plan? To get her to trust him, so she wouldn't see it coming when he finally decided to kill her? No, that didn't sound right. He had plenty of opportunities, and never once took them. Plus, she saw him in the sunlight, and never got any vamp tinglies when he was near. Except for the first time she walked in the library, but the feeling only lasted for a second. What the hell was going on?

* * *

William finished his third bottle of Whiskey, needing something to dull the pain, but it wasn't having much of an effect. He should have just told her the truth from the start, keeping it for this long was a huge mistake. She would never trust him now, but he only had himself to blame. William got up when a knock sounded on his door, wondering who could possibly be bothering him at this time. He was stunned to find Buffy on the other side, looking closely to see if she had any stakes on her, but before he could ask, she strolled into his apartment. William let out a sigh, closing the door behind her. It was best to just get this over with.

"I want to know what game you're playing at. Was this all a trick? Get me to feel for you, only to turn on me when I least expect it?"

He shook his head. "No, of course not, everything we feel for each other is real. I wanted to tell you so many times, Buffy, but I didn't know how. I never meant for you to find out like that, but you have to understand that I didn't mean to hurt you. That is the last thing I wanted. Please, just let me explain, and if you want nothing to do with me after that, I will respect your wishes."

She nodded, sitting down on his couch. "All right, let's hear it."

William sat beside her, putting enough space between them. "I did used to be a Watcher, but that was in the late 1800's, everything else I told you was true. About Aria, how I felt for her, but I left out one important detail. When Angelus killed her, I didn't walk away from our fight alive. I told you he left me there, but that wasn't exactly his style."

"He turned you," Buffy finished, it wasn't a question.

"Yes, he did it for Drusilla. She needed a companion, and for some reason, she wanted me. He knew the only way to get to me was to kill my charge first. I was disoriented when I came to, had to dig myself out of my own grave. I won't lie to you, love, I was a monster for the first twenty years I was made vampire. I killed, tortured, nothing as bad as Angelus, but it was enough. I became known as Spike…"

She jerked away from him, her eyes widening. "You got your name from jamming railroad spikes in your victims' heads."

He raised his eyebrows. "I see you've done your research."

"I read about you. Of course, I didn't know it was you at the time. The things you've done…"

"I'm not that demon anymore, pet, haven't been for over a hundred years," he explained.

"So, what happened? Why did you change?"

William took in a deep, unneeded breath, continuing with his story. "This is the part you won't find in any book. Angelus brought me a girl one night, said it was a peace offering; we got into a nasty brawl before that. I knew something didn't feel right, so I rejected his offer. He didn't take too kindly to that, and killed the girl right in front of me, completely draining her. He left me with the body and went to clean up, that was when her clan barged in and caught me with her. She was a gypsy, the most favorite of her kind. I ran off, and they decided to curse me for her death, one that Angelus had no trouble framing me for. He knew all along how important she was to her people. To make a long story short, I woke up with my soul restored, every death I caused, everyone who suffered because of me, I felt it all. It was the most intense pain of my entire existence. Obviously, going back to Angelus and the others was no longer an option after that. I started off on my own, but I had no idea what to do. I knew I needed a purpose; I couldn't spend all my time living in the sewers chasing rats. The Council knew of what happened to me, so I was likely not welcome around them anymore, and I knew no Slayer would have me. I met Giles in London about ten years ago; he was recently cut loose from the Council as well. He knew of me, but he was never afraid. He didn't see my past; all he saw was that I was trying to do good now. We kept in touch for a while, and when he met you, for some reason he thought we would be good for each other. You needed a Watcher, and he finally gave me my purpose."

Buffy shook her head, trying to take everything in, but something still didn't make sense to her. "Does having a soul give you the ability to go out in the sun? I've touched you, and you're so warm. I never got any vamp vibes from you at all, how is that possible?"

He held his hand up, showing her the ring that he always had on him. "It's called the Gem of Amara, makes the wearer invincible, and for vampires, able to go out during the day."

Okay, not a family heirloom, just something else he lied about. "I guess that would explain why you healed so fast."

"I know this is a lot to process, Buffy, but I really only am here to help you. All I care about is keeping you alive, for your seventeenth birthday, and many more beyond that. I know you have every reason to hate me, but the way I feel for you, it's like nothing I've ever known before, not even for Aria."

Buffy didn't know why, but she believed him. "What about Drusilla? You said that Angelus made you for her. What happened between you two?"

"We slept together a couple of times when I was newly turned, but that was about it, feelings were never involved. She was a bit too insane for my liking, and I never could understand any of her bloody riddles. Besides, it was always Angelus that she wanted, no one else could compare."

Buffy sighed in relief. "So, if I staked her, because you know I have to, you won't hate me for it?"

"Bloody hell, no, I would gladly hand you the stake. I want them all gone, Buffy. Don't think for one second that they mean anything to me, you're the only one I care about."

Buffy nodded, standing up after a moment. "I need some time to think about all of this. I do believe you, but it's a lot to take in right now."

He stood up as well. "I understand. You just take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."

Buffy moved closer to him, giving him a peck on the cheek, and then walking out of the apartment. She had a lot of thinking to do.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

William was slowly going out of his mind; it had been days since they've really talked. Buffy stopped by the library for her study sessions, but remained quiet the whole time. It was starting to worry him that things would never go back to the way they were. He missed her so much. She was all he thought about every hour of the day, nothing had felt like this before, but if he stayed in that place for one more second, he would go crazy. Buffy was in class, so he would take advantage of that by going out to search for Angelus. William would take care of the bastard on his own because if he had his way, Buffy would never go up against him.

* * *

Angelus was a bloody moron; he should have known that William would be able to find them easily. They were family, after all, and the abandoned mansion on Crawford Street would be the perfect place for them to hide out. He peered in one of the shielded windows, seeing that they were all up and ranting about him. It seemed some things would never change.

"I still don't know why you went to see him. Spike isn't one of us anymore. He protects the Slayer now; it's only a matter of time until she seeks us out."

Angelus rolled his eyes. "You worry too much, Darla. We get him back on our side, and then the little girl will have no one to turn to. I have big plans for her."

Drusilla clapped her hands in glee. "Everything in my head is singing, we'll be a family again."

William heard enough, not about to let these wankers anywhere near his girl. He picked up his crossbow and in one quick move, kicked the front door in, watching as they all scrambled away from the deadly rays that were shining through. "Is this a private party, or can anyone join?"

Angelus vamped out, glaring daggers at him. "How the fuck are you not bursting into flames?"

"The Gem of Amara, I'm sure you've heard of it."

"That's supposed to be a myth!" Angelus retorted.

He waved his hand in the air. "Obviously not since I'm standing right here, you pillock. You can of course come and get it; you just might get a little fried along the way." William raised his crossbow, moving it to each of them. "So, who wants to go first?"

"You fucking psycho! I told them turning you would be a mistake. You're a traitor to all of us."

William grinned at the blonde, he was going to enjoy every second of this. "We have a winner." Instead of firing the crossbow at Darla, he ran at her with vamp speed, grabbing a fistful of her hair and yanking her over to the entrance. She wailed and clawed at him, but he wasn't about to loosen his grip, until he flung her out into the sunshine. He watched in satisfaction as she went up in flames, screaming bloody murder in the process. Angelus yelled in the background, but he knew his sire would never risk going out in the sun just to save her. In a matter of seconds, Darla was nothing but a pile of ash. "Now, that felt good. I never could stand the bitch." He turned back to the others. "Do we have another volunteer?"

Drusilla cried in agony, falling to the ground in mourning of her grandmother.

Angelus had a murderous look in his eyes. "You are going to pay for that, you little shit."

"Big words, but I don't see either of you coming at me. Not scared of a little sunlight, are you? You're in no position to be making threats, Peaches, this is how it's gonna be. You're going to take Dru and get out of my town, if you go anywhere near the Slayer, I will kill you both in very painful ways. You think having a soul makes me impotent? I'm just as vicious as I ever was, even more so because I will do everything in my power to protect that girl. You took my life away from me, and now I'm getting it back."

Angelus pulled Drusilla up, holding her close to his chest. "This isn't over, William. If you think we're going to leave you alone now, you've got another thing coming. I'm gonna rape your girl while you watch, and then suck her dry. I'm going to cut that ring off your finger, and get great pleasure in shoving a stake through your cold heart."

William nodded, raising the crossbow again, and this time pulling the trigger as the bolt struck Angelus in the shoulder.

He yelled at the pain, pulling the arrow out and throwing it to the floor.

"Next time, that'll be your heart. You've made it very clear that I can't let you go. I gave you a chance, but now you leave me with no choice." Before William could fire another bolt, Angelus threw a smoke bomb, which he didn't even know the fucker had on him. Once the smoke cleared, William cursed himself when he noticed they were gone.

* * *

"I can't believe you went after them by yourself. What were you thinking? You could have been killed."

William let out a sigh. "I just wanted to make things easier for you. I know you believe that you're ready to take them on, but I don't think you are. Angelus is a right bastard, and Dru is as crazy as they come. At least Darla won't be a problem for you; I threw her out in the sun. It was bloody brilliant."

Buffy had to smile at that. "I guess that's something, but you still shouldn't have went without me. I'm the Slayer, William; this is what I'm supposed to do. I like that you want to protect me, but you can't all the time."

"Yeah, but I can at least try. I know you're still not sure of my intentions, but I hope this proves that I really am on your side. I won't let anything happen to you, sweetheart. I'd rather die first."

Buffy felt her eyes tear up, knowing that he was being sincere. She wrapped her arms around his waist; it was ridiculous to be avoiding him just because he was a vampire. William never did anything to hurt her, and it was about time she realized that. "I know what I want for my birthday now."

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "And what would that be?"

She smiled, nuzzling the hand that was still resting on her cheek. "I want you to make love to me. I'm finally ready, and I completely trust you. I know you would never hurt me."

It was William's turn to tear up at her declaration, kissing her sweetly on the lips. No matter what happened, he would never make her regret that decision.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"God, there's like so many damn books to choose from. I think I'm just gonna forget about that English paper, like I really need literature in the future. Besides, I feel like I might catch a disease just from being in here, especially with that Buffy girl always being around. She is such a freak. Did I tell you what happened at the Bronze? She totally tried to kill me with a piece of wood. They'll let anyone into this school, if you ask me; she seriously needs to be committed."

William came out from the stacks after hearing Cordelia's phone conversation, clenching his fists at his side.

"I have to go, that librarian guy is back. We'll talk later," she said, flipping her cell shut. "Do you have a better selection than this? How do you expect someone to find anything in here? I was looking for a copy of _Romeo and Juliet_, but really, I think I'll just rent the Leo Dicaprio movie instead." Cordelia headed to the front of the library, gasping when she felt a tight grip on her arm, being pulled back to stare into a pair of intense eyes.

"You are never to come in here again, and if you cause any problems for Buffy Summers, I will make you regret it. Do you understand?"

She nodded in her trance. "I understand."

He smiled. "Good girl, now get back to class."

Cordelia hurried out of the library, not one to be told twice.

William watched her go in amusement. He didn't use his thrall very often, but sometimes it came in handy.

* * *

"Rupert, this is going too far. Spike is supposed to be suffering for his crimes against my people, but something doesn't feel right."

"And it has nothing to do with the fact your people cursed the wrong vampire? I told you before, Jenny, I do not think William was responsible for the death of your clan's beloved daughter. He told me Angelus was the one who did it, and I believe him."

Jenny nodded. "That may be so, but he was still caught with her body. You know what he was like before, whether the wrong vampire was cursed or not, we did the right thing, making this world a safer place by taking a murderer out of it. How could you let him get close to the newest Slayer, especially knowing that he fell for one before? This is too dangerous."

Giles shook his head. "I have spoken with William recently, and he assured me that everything was going well. I didn't get any indication that he has fallen for the girl."

"You better hope he doesn't, Rupert. The curse isn't as strong as my people were led to believe, one moment of true happiness could take the soul from him, and then another monster will be unleashed on the world. Buffy will be as good as dead. The first thing he'll do is punish her for making him feel like a human again."

"I don't think it will come to that," Giles claimed, praying that he was right, but he didn't know what to believe anymore.

* * *

"Oh, fuck, you're really good at that."

William grinned, licking up her slit, and shoving his tongue all the way inside of her sopping core. "So bloody delicious, a man could feast on you for an eternity and never get enough."

She blushed, pulling him up to lay at her side.

"I have something for you," he said, taking a ring out of his back pocket, and holding it up for her. "This actually did belong to my mother, and I wanted you to have it."

Buffy was stunned, tears in her eyes as he placed the elegant jewel on her finger. "It's so beautiful, William. I'll treasure it always."

He kissed her lips tenderly. "Happy birthday, sweetheart."

She returned his kiss. "So far, this is the best one ever. I don't think my birthday has anything to do with it, but Cordelia didn't even bother me today. She saw me in the halls, and just walked away without saying anything bitchy."

William held her close, feeling beyond content with her in his arms, deciding it was best not to explain just why the cheerleader stopped being a nuisance. "I love you."

Buffy glanced up at him, startled by his words, but feeling the exact same thing. "I love you, too."

"That works out nicely, then."

"I'm ready," she whispered. "Now more than ever."

In mere seconds, they were both completely naked, William lying on top of her, brushing the hair out of her face. "It'll hurt a bit at first, but I promise to make this as good for you as possible."

Buffy grabbed his shoulders, digging her nails in. "It's okay; I can handle anything you're willing to give."

William pressed his lips to hers, slowly pushing into her welcoming center. He waited for her to adjust to his size, and then buried himself fully inside, catching her gasp with his mouth. The tears made him feel like a monster, but he moved very slowly. "I'm sorry, baby, it'll feel better soon."

She shook her head. "I'm fine, you can go faster now."

He pounded her hard and fast, the sounds she was making really spurring him on. "Fuck, love, you feel so bloody good."

Buffy threw her head back, feeling that she was close, and crying out her release a moment later.

William rolled off of her, tucking her at his side, and touching his lips to the top of her head.

She snuggled up with him, falling asleep immediately, with William following shortly after.

* * *

He awoke with a start, blinding pain surging through his very soul. He gasped, throwing the sheet off of his body, and clutching his abdomen in pure agony. He fell to the floor, waiting for the pain to pass, and just as soon as it came, it was gone.

Spike stood up, confused at the sight of the very naked girl in his bed, until it all came rushing back to him. He put his clothes on, and with one last look at the girl, ran off into the night.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Buffy reached out for William when she awoke, only to find his side of the bed empty. She sat up, pulling the sheet with her.

"William, are you here?" she called out, but got no response. Buffy saw that his clothes were missing, wondering where he could have gone in such a hurry, but she was really starting to get worried. What could have happened to him?

* * *

"Poor Daddy, we'll make him pay for hurting our family. Grandmother would want that."

Angelus jerked away from her. "Screw getting your family back, Dru. I want him dead."

"Now, is that nice? And here I was thinking you missed me, my mistake."

The dark haired vampire turned to glare at the intruder. "You must have a death wish, William."

He grinned, getting into his sire's face. "It's Spike now, William is long gone."

Drusilla smiled, clapping her hands. "My boy has returned."

Angelus raised his eyebrows. "Is that true?"

Spike nodded, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it, taking a long drag. "The soul is no more. I feel like a new man."

"Excellent, it was getting nauseating to see you as the Slayer's lap dog. How did this happen?"

He shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. If I had to make a wager, I would say the Slayer fucked it right out of me."

Angelus laughed. "Even more perfect, she'll be all devastated and vulnerable. We'll go after her as soon as the sun sets, not all of us have a magical ring."

"No," Spike chimed in. "The girl is mine. No one is to touch her, you got that? She needs to pay for turning me into a sodding pansy."

"And how do you intend to make her pay?"

Spike flicked his cigarette to the ground, giving his sire a look. "To hurt this girl, you have to love her."

* * *

Buffy was beyond worried when she got to school later that day. William never came back home, and he wasn't in the library. Her insecurities were starting to shine through, maybe she wasn't good enough and he couldn't stand to be near her anymore. She glanced down at the ring on her finger, tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't lose him now, he was all she had.

She dozed off at the table, jumping up when a man burst through the library doors. It took her all of a second to recognize him. "Giles? What are you doing here?"

He hurried over to her. "Buffy, it's good to see that you're doing well. Is William around? I need to speak with him. I've been calling all night, but never received an answer."

She shook her head. "I haven't seen him since last night. What's going on? Do you know what's happened to him?"

Giles sat down across from her, taking in a deep breath. "I need you to tell me the truth, Buffy. Has anything happened between you and William? I know this must make you uncomfortable to talk about, but I need to know if there is more going on between you two than just a professional relationship."

"We've been seeing each other for nearly a month now. Yesterday was my birthday, and I decided that I was ready to take our relationship to the next level. William was all for it, but when I woke up this morning, he was gone. I haven't seen him since."

"Oh, dear, I was afraid of this. I suppose William has told you about himself," Giles continued.

Buffy nodded. "I know he's a vampire that was cursed with a soul. It bothered me at first, but I wasn't going to let that stop us from being together. I love him, and he said that he loved me."

"I'm very certain that he did, but there is something you need to know. I am acquaintances with a woman who belonged to the clan that cursed William. If he is ever to receive a moment of pure happiness, the soul would get taken from him."

Her eyes widened. "You think that's what happened? No, I won't believe that. A soul doesn't even mean anything. He should still be able to love me without one."

"I am very sorry, but before the soul, William was a vicious monster. He didn't care about anyone. We need to find him before he causes too much harm. My guess is that he's already joined up with Angelus, and the fact he has that gem makes me even more concerned. He would be unstoppable."

Buffy stood, moving away from him. "No, he wouldn't do that to me. I know he wouldn't. He'll come back and I'll prove that you're wrong." She ran from the library, not looking back once.

* * *

She walked all over town, but found no trace of William. A part of her knew Giles was telling the truth, but she refused to believe that her William would go back to the cruel vampire he used to be, not after being with her. The way he looked at her, touched her, it was like she was the only woman in the world. If she lost that feeling, Buffy didn't know what she would do.

"Well, what do we have here?"

Buffy shuddered at the familiar voice, turning to meet the eyes of a vampire she never cared to see again.

"I was hoping you would show up. We have some unfinished business," Angelus stated.

She clutched the stake in her hand. "I'm a lot stronger now."

He laughed. "I suppose you are, but you're once again without a Watcher."

Buffy felt a chill down her spine when William appeared next to Angelus, a sadistic smirk on his face. This was not the vampire who loved her, and she felt her heart break in a million pieces. "God, no," she whispered, shutting her eyes at his harsh laughter.

"God can't help you now, sweetheart. I wanted to thank you for bringing me back, Slayer. I really couldn't have done it without you."

She shook her head. "You can still fight it, William. I know you're in there. Please, don't do this."

He growled, barreling over to her and grabbing her roughly by the shoulders. "It's Spike now, bitch. You'll do well to remember that. Your William is dead, and you'll be joining him soon enough."

The tears were streaming down her face, but she had to stay strong. She couldn't let them win. "Fine, you wanna kill me? Take your best shot."

Spike was surprised by her answer, taking a step back. "You forget that I taught you everything you know."

"I've been fighting since before I met you. I think I can hold my own."

"Enough with the chit chat," Angelus claimed. "Just kill her already, or I'll do it for you."

"There will be plenty of her to go around. Keep your bloody pants on," Spike snapped.

She rolled her eyes. "Is your great plan to bore me to death?" He smiled, and Buffy could almost see her William looking back at her.

Angelus had enough. He jumped Buffy, catching her off guard and causing her to drop her stake. "You're mine, Slayer; I'm not waiting any longer to taste you." He ripped her shirt open, raising her arms above her head and holding them there, while his fangs attacked her neck.

Buffy screamed at the pain, but it was short lived as Angelus exploded in a cloud of dust. She coughed, gazing up at her savior to see Spike standing there, her stake in his hand. The look on his face was full of hatred, but it wasn't directed at her.

"No one messes with my girl."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Buffy couldn't stop the tears now as William embraced her, ripping his shirt to hold it up to her bloody neck, smothering kisses all along her face as he apologized profusely for putting her in danger. She pulled back when it all started to be too overwhelming.

"You still love me?" she asked shakily.

"Oh, baby, I never stopped. I'm so bloody sorry for everything. I needed Angelus to think I was on his side. That was the only way to get one up on him. I didn't mean anything I said."

She felt choked up. "Giles, he said a moment of perfect happiness would take your soul away. You were gone after we slept together. I started thinking the worst, and when he told me that, I didn't know what to do. Is your soul still there? Maybe he was wrong."

Spike shook his head. "No, the soul is gone. I felt it leave my body, but I remembered everything that we did, all the things we meant to each other. I couldn't go back to the way I was, not if it cost me you. I'm sorry for just taking off like that, but I needed to do some thinking, and then I thought of tricking Angelus by making him believe I was back to my old self. That's why I couldn't come to you yet, I couldn't risk him finding out I was still on your side." He cupped her cheek, wiping her tears away. "Do you forgive me, Buffy? I'll understand if you never want to see me again. You got hurt because of me, and I promised to always protect you."

Buffy pressed her lips to his; effectively cutting off anything else he would have said. "You're forgiven, if it wasn't for you, we might not have been able to defeat him. I was just worried that you didn't love me anymore. I don't think I could have staked you."

He nodded. "Yes, you could, if you really had no choice."

"I'm just glad it didn't come to that."

Spike had to agree.

* * *

They walked hand in hand through the library doors, Giles standing up to greet them. He sighed in relief at the sight of their clasped hands, knowing that Buffy would never be that close to William if he reverted back to his old ways.

"Is everything all right?"

She nodded. "Angelus is dust. I told you he wouldn't betray me."

Giles glanced over at the vampire. "I take it you are without your soul, and you still managed to do the right thing?"

"You should have more faith in me, Rupes. Buffy means too much to me, I wasn't about to let that wanker hurt her." He winced in guilt, still ashamed to even let Angelus bite her, but a squeeze of her hand brought his gaze back on hers, and he could clearly see that she didn't blame him.

"That is very reassuring," Giles responded. "I suppose I should head home now, but there is still the matter of Drusilla. Without Darla and Angelus around, she will most likely be unbearable and want to seek vengeance. The woman is very unstable, as I'm sure you know. I would advise you to be careful."

Spike knew all too well what Drusilla was capable of, but he would deal with her when the time came. Right now, he had a morning after to make up for. His girl's first time was ruined by him not being there as she awoke, and if he had his way, she would never be alone again.

* * *

He kissed up her naked body, taking a succulent nipple in his mouth.

"That tongue of yours should be illegal."

Spike chuckled, meeting her lips with his, and slipping his tongue inside to massage with hers. He trailed his hands down her body, pushing two fingers into her wet core.

Buffy arched her back, giving him better access.

He spread her pussy lips wide, shoving his tongue in to collect her juices. "Fuck, I do love the way you taste."

"I need you inside. I can't take much more of this torture," she panted.

Spike was happy to oblige, positioning his cock over her entrance, and sliding home in one quick thrust.

Buffy threw her head back, holding him close as he pounded her hard, but there was something else she needed. "Bite me," she whispered.

His eyes widened at her request. "Are you sure?"

"I trust you."

That was all the answer he needed, his facial features shifting to that of the demon as he plunged his fangs into her throat, right over Angelus' mark. She was all his, and without thinking of the repercussions, he decided to make it official. "Mine," he muttered, closing the wound with his tongue after he took enough.

"Yours," she responded, biting into his neck enough to draw blood.

"Oh, fuck!" he exclaimed, not expecting her to do that, but definitely not disappointed. "Yours, I've always been yours."

"And you're mine," Buffy said, a smile gracing her features.

They came together then, both experiencing a moment of pure bliss and contentment.

Once he came down from his high, Spike finally realized just what they did. "Fuck, Buffy, do you know what this means? We just claimed each other."

She nodded, hoping he didn't regret it. "I know what it means. You had me research practically every book in the library. I remembered reading about vampire mating rituals. It's like a marriage, right?"

"It's much more than that. Unlike a regular marriage, this one doesn't end in divorce. We'll always be connected now. When one dies, the other will shortly follow because the grief would be agonizing. As far as I know, it's never been done with a human before."

Buffy sat up, biting her lower lip. "Yeah, that's what I figured. Is this not what you want? I just assumed that you would be okay with it, but I probably should have asked first. I mean, why would you want to deal with a teenager for all eternity?"

He smiled at her adorable ramblings, pulling her closer to plant a firm kiss on her mouth. "Spending eternity with you would be a bloody blessing, but I wasn't sure if this was something you really wanted."

"I do, William. I love you so much. I couldn't imagine being without you."

He took her hand in his; placing a kiss over the ring that he gave her. Normally he hated going by his poncy human name, and he definitely didn't want to hear it since losing the soul, but after being with her, it didn't seem to matter as much. She could call him whatever she wanted, he was forever hers. "You'll never have to worry about that. This is it for me, Buffy. I love you."

She kissed him then, no more words needed to be said.

* * *

The dark beauty howled in agony, breaking anything she could get her hands on, and then picking up an old looking doll.

"Don't worry, Miss Edith. We'll get our boy back. That bad Slayer will pay for destroying our happy home."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Hey, how was your birthday? Did you have fun with your friend?"

Buffy forgot for a second that she told her mom about spending the night at Willow's house. "It was good. We stayed up late, talked about boys, did our nails. You know, regular girl stuff." Inside she was cringing at having to say that, but if it kept the pleased smile on her mother's face, it was all worth it.

"I'm glad for that. It's really nice to see the woman you're becoming, Buffy. I don't say it enough, but I'm proud of you. I think this move was just what we needed."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, I'm just gonna get started on my homework now." Another satisfied smile, and Buffy was marching up the stairs. She hated having to lie, but if she so much as told the truth again, it would be back to the loony bin for her, and once was enough. The second she shut her bedroom door, she was attacked by a very horny vampire, mauling her lips as if he hadn't seen her in days. "What are you doing in here?" Buffy managed to get out once he released her.

"I needed you. I couldn't wait for you to stop by later tonight," Spike told her.

"As sweet as that is, my mom is right downstairs."

He grinned. "We'll just have to be very quiet, but in case that isn't possible." Spike moved over to her stereo, turning it up loud enough to drown out any sounds they made, but not enough to have the neighbors complaining. When that was done, he flung her down on the bed, tearing her clothes off in an instant, and then doing the same with his.

She gasped when he trailed his lips along her flat stomach, moving up to her nipples to give them the same treatment. "Okay, you are so different without a soul. Not that I'm complaining, but you never would have risked doing this before. Oh, fuck, don't stop."

"I'm as devious as they come, baby. Just because I don't kill anymore, doesn't mean I'm going to change my ways entirely. This is who I am now, but if you're that concerned, William will always be a part of me."

Buffy glanced down at him, cupping his cheek tenderly. "I don't care who you are, just as long as you're mine. William, Spike, it doesn't matter because I love every part of you."

He kissed her palm, wondering again what he did to deserve this amazing girl. Spike picked her up, bringing her closer to his chest and positioning his cock at her entrance, then thrusting into her with one quick plunge. He pounded her hard and fast, smothering her cries with his mouth.

Buffy gave as good as she got, ripping her lips away to catch a breath of air. Her orgasm was fast approaching, biting his shoulder to keep from screaming, which was enough to send them both over the edge. She panted hard, confused as to why he needed to, but it wasn't really necessary to ask. "I can't believe we just had sex with my mother in the house. Forget about demons, if she catches me with a boy in my bed, she'll send me back to the nut house for sure. No, screw that, she'll send me to a fucking convent."

Spike laughed. "What if she found out you were screwing a demon?"

Buffy glared at him. "That's enough crazy talk from you. My mom will never find out, anyway. In order for that to happen, she would actually have to pay attention to what I'm doing. She believes anything I tell her. As long as it's not about vampires, she's happy as a clam."

He kissed her forehead, knowing how much she wanted her mum's approval. Buffy was a wonderful person, a true hero, and she couldn't even talk to her own mother about it. That had to be hard for a teenager, but no matter what happened, she would always have him to lean on.

* * *

"Is the world coming to an end or something? Cordelia keeps ignoring me; I think I'm actually hurt. I look forward to our banter every day, but now she doesn't even acknowledge my presence. What's that about?"

Spike rubbed the back of his neck, thinking he should probably tell her the truth. "Don't be mad, but I might have had a talk with her. I told her to leave you alone."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "And she listened? I know Cordy is a moron and all, but she's not exactly the type to do what she's told."

"I used thrall; it's what some vampires have to get humans to do what they want. Cordelia was the first person I've tried it on in years. I didn't think it would work, but I guess that just proves she doesn't have very many brain cells."

"Right, I remember reading about that now. What did you say to her?" she wondered.

He shrugged. "Just that I didn't want her coming in the library anymore, and to not cause you any trouble."

"No shit, can you make my teacher think I already turned my paper in? I used the whole 'my dog ate my homework' excuse last week."

Spike laughed, relieved that she didn't seem to be bothered by his actions. This girl was just full of surprises.

* * *

"Could you try it on me? Drusilla has thrall, right? She might use that to her advantage; I need to know if I would be just as affected by it as anyone else would."

He sat up in his bed, looking deep into her eyes. "You will fall madly in love with me, and be my sex slave for all eternity."

Buffy slapped him on the arm, letting out a laugh. "You are so not taking this seriously. It has to be something I wouldn't normally do."

Spike chuckled, getting back to the point. He gazed into her beautiful eyes. He was the one with the thrall, but it felt like she was putting him under her spell. "I want you to run naked through the neighborhood, screaming that you just got royally fucked by an incredibly sexy vampire."

It took all of a second to realize that she had no urge to do as he said, nearly pushing him off of the bed. "I so cannot believe you just asked me to do that. Do you want me to get thrown back in the mental institution?"

He waved his hand in the air. "I knew you wouldn't have done it, love. Thrall doesn't work on Slayers, and even if it did, I would have stopped you from leaving the apartment. I'm the only one allowed to see your goodies."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?"

"This way was more fun," Spike claimed, dodging the pillow that flew at his head.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

It had been weeks since they heard from Drusilla, but Spike knew she didn't leave town. Not until she got her revenge, which had him even more worried for Buffy.

"I thought you said thrall doesn't work on Slayers?"

"It's not supposed to, but Dru has mastered it longer than I have. I wouldn't take any chances where she's concerned. Just avoid looking her in the eyes," Spike explained.

"And I'll what, turn to stone? It might be hard to fight her if I can't even look at her. Don't worry; I can handle one psycho vampire. I don't like that she hasn't made a move yet, though."

He agreed. "She's planning something, and with her, that's never a good thing. Drusilla has never been on her own before, the Aurelius line was all she had."

"She's going to try and get you back," Buffy said, already knowing what he was thinking.

"Yeah, she can try, but she won't succeed. I left that crazy bitch over a hundred years ago; I have no intention of ever dealing with her again." He turned to Buffy. "I'm more worried for you. I took Angelus from her, and she'll get to you through me. It would be the perfect revenge. I know you can hold your own, but I want you to promise me that you won't go patrolling by yourself. You don't know what Drusilla is capable of, pet. If something happened to you…"

Buffy placed a calming hand on his arm. "I'll be okay, but if it'll make you feel better, I promise not to go out alone."

He sighed in relief, glad that she didn't argue with him.

* * *

"My mom's home, I suppose I should make an appearance."

Spike pulled her back on the bed, giving her a kiss. "You should probably fix your hair first."

Buffy went over to her mirror, running a comb through her blonde locks, and then turning back to him. "Better?"

He nodded. "I prefer the just shagged look, but I don't think your mum would agree."

"Can you take me away from here when I'm eighteen?"

Spike was startled by her question, but she wasn't finished.

"I hate having to hide who I am. I know this place needs a Slayer, but I can't imagine being here for the rest of my life, however long that may be. I'm not talking permanently, but maybe we could at least take a vacation. I just need to get away for a while. Being around my mother is suffocating, putting on these fake smiles just so she won't worry, pretending to be someone I'm not. She'll never understand me, no matter what I do. You know how many times she visited me in the institution? Three fucking times in four months, and my dad was even less than that."

He stood up to take her in his arms, touching his lips to the top of her head.

She returned the embrace, pulling away to look at him. "I don't know what I would have done if you went back to being evil. You're the only one keeping me sane right now."

Spike smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'll take you anywhere your heart desires, you just name it."

Buffy smiled as well. "Good to know, and when I'm eighteen, there won't be anything she can do about it. God, that's so long away."

He kissed the pout off her lips. "Go make your presence known; I'll be up here waiting."

She nodded, heading downstairs to find her mother in the kitchen, a familiar looking blouse clutched in her hands.

Joyce glanced up at her, a pained expression on her face. "Why is there blood on your shirt?"

Buffy shrugged. "I cut myself by accident; you know how clumsy I can be."

"Oh, Buffy, please don't tell me you got into another fight. You were doing so well here. When is this ever going to stop? I got a call from your school; you missed out on two classes yesterday. And now I find this? What am I supposed to think? You're not in a gang, are you? Drugs, is that it?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Because that's what every teenager does these days, right? I cut school, so I must be in a gang or on drugs. You know what I am, Mom, you just don't want to acknowledge it. I'm a fucking Vampire Slayer, and I'm so tired of pretending I'm not just for your benefit. I'm not going to change for anyone. If you can't accept me for who I am, that's not my damn problem."

"I will not tolerate that language in my house. You are not going to start this nonsense again, do you hear me? Why do you keep with these delusions, Buffy? Do you not have enough friends; is this just you acting out? I know the divorce has been hard on you…"

Buffy laughed, effectively cutting her mother off. "I could care less about your divorce. Dad is a bastard, and I honestly don't know why you didn't leave him sooner. You two getting divorced was a fucking blessing."

Joyce glared at her. "I won't tell you again, Buffy. Bastard or not, he's still your father and deserves some respect. I really want to help you, honey, maybe if you would consider therapy."

She threw her hands up. "Okay, I've officially had enough. You want proof, Mom. Fine, I'll give you proof." Before her mother could respond, Buffy ran up the stairs and grabbed Spike by the arm, pulling him down with her, knowing he heard their entire exchange. "Mom, this is Spike, my boyfriend, he's also a vampire. Show her," she told him, completely catching him off guard.

"Are you sure about this?" The look of determination on her face was all the answer he needed, immediately vamping out in front of Joyce, who gasped and brought her hand to her mouth in shock.

Buffy smiled in satisfaction. "Do you believe me now? Of course, I didn't always know he was a vampire. He was pretending to be my Watcher at first; I still can't believe I fell for that. We're together, in fact, I just spent the better part of an hour fucking his brains out in my room."

Spike wished more than anything to burst into flames in that moment. He did not want to be present for this conversation.

Joyce placed a hand over her heart, tears forming in her eyes. "Is he going to hurt you?"

Buffy's expression softened at her mom's devastated look. She hadn't meant to take things that far, but was just so tired of being treated like a freak, especially from her own mother. "No, he loves me, but there are other vampires in town who want me dead. I didn't mean to show you like this, but you didn't leave me with much choice. You never listen to anything I say about it, so I figured you couldn't deny what was right in front of your eyes."

"Mrs. Summers, I know this isn't exactly how I planned on us meeting, but I do truly love your daughter. She's an amazing woman, and has one of the biggest hearts I've ever known. All she has ever wanted was for you to accept her for who she really is."

The tears were streaming down Joyce's face as she gazed at her daughter, seeing her for the first time. "Oh, baby, what have we done to you? I'm so very sorry for not listening before, and for sending you to that place. I think a part of me believed you, but I didn't want to. It would have felt like I was doing something wrong. Can you ever forgive me?"

Buffy let out the breath she'd been holding. "I think I can, it'll just take some time. Just don't invite anyone in the house after the sun sets, especially not if she's very pale with long, dark hair, and avoid looking in her eyes at all times."

Joyce nodded, worry evident on her features.

"I'll just go back upstairs now; let you take a minute to process this." She ushered him over to the stairs, stopping at her mom's frantic voice.

"Did you say that you and this vampire had sex in your room?"

Buffy cursed under her breath. "I knew that was too easy."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"I can't believe she grounded me. She finally understands about me being the Slayer, but the fact I'm having sex is what gets me in trouble. It's not like I could get pregnant, or a sexually transmitted disease. How is that fair?"

Spike chuckled. "You probably shouldn't have mentioned that part to her."

She shrugged. "I was pissed off; you know how I get when I'm mad. There is no stopping the words that come out of my mouth."

"I know very well, and I'm really glad it's not directed at me. In your mother's own way, she finally thinks she's doing right by you. Isn't that what you wanted, for her to pay attention?"

Buffy pouted. "I guess. It's just a good thing I didn't tell her about you being the librarian. She probably would have called the school to get you fired, and then I wouldn't have been able to see you until my punishment was over, since she boarded up my window. No, she got the neighbor guy to do it. I bet anything she's sleeping with him, and that is so not an image I needed. Eighteen can't come soon enough; I'm seriously ready to get out of here."

He couldn't agree more.

* * *

"We're supposed to be patrolling," Spike muttered between kisses, his girlfriend was bloody insatiable.

"I like my way so much better," Buffy responded, slamming him against a nearby mausoleum and attacking his mouth once again.

Spike's hand slid under her shirt, caressing the smooth skin of her back. "You're getting distracted."

She pulled away, giving him a look. "You take all the fun out of this, you know that?"

He cupped her cheek, massaging her bottom lip. "I'm trying to keep you alive."

Buffy blew out a breath. "Well, when you put it that way."

Spike took her hand in his as they made their way through the cemetery, but something felt different this time. He couldn't put his finger on it, until Buffy was ripped away from him, a demented vampire knocking him to the ground, smacking his head against the soil. She got on top of him, holding him down.

"You took what was mine, and now I shall take yours," Drusilla spat, heading over to the Slayer.

Spike sat up, wondering when she suddenly started to sound sane, but he had to get to Buffy before Dru got her claws in the girl.

Drusilla snatched Buffy by the hair, nearly yanking it out of her skull. "Such pretty sunshine should be burned."

Before Buffy even knew what happened, Drusilla pulled out a syringe and stabbed her in the arm with it. She yelled out at the pain, feeling her vision get blurry as she let one punch loose in Drusilla's face, causing the vampire to stumble back.

That was all the advantage Spike needed; he grabbed Drusilla by the neck and twisted her head right off, watching as she crumbled to dust. He immediately ran over to Buffy, helping her up as she shook the dizziness away. "Are you all right?"

Buffy nodded, resting her head against his chest. "I think so. Is she gone?"

He kept one arm around her as they stood, not letting her go for a second. "She's gone, what did she do to you?"

"I don't know. She put something in me." Buffy bent down to retrieve the needle that Drusilla used on her. "Can you find out what it is?"

Spike took the syringe from her, sniffing it, but not getting a clear scent of what it could have been. He glanced at Buffy, seeing how pale she was and really starting to worry about what kind of poison was injected in her, but only time would tell.

* * *

"Good, you're awake, how are you feeling?"

Buffy opened her eyes at the familiar voice, seeing Dr. Grant standing there, her least favorite doctor at the institution. She scrambled away from him in horror. "What am I doing here?"

He raised his eyebrows. "You've been here for over a year now, Buffy. What is the last thing you remember?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm in Sunnydale. I was with William. Where is he?"

"Sunnydale isn't real, Buffy. Neither is William, or Spike, whatever he's calling himself this time. He was someone you created in your mind, but he doesn't exist. Your parents are here, they've been waiting to see you."

Buffy was startled when she saw both of her parents come forward, looking like they were together and honestly concerned about her.

"Oh, sweetheart, we're so worried about you. Why do you keep fighting the doctors? They're only trying to help make you better, so we can take you home. We miss you so much," Joyce commented, tears in her eyes.

Hank wrapped his arms around his distraught wife. "We love you, honey, and when you're ready, things are going to be different at home. You'll never have to worry about anything again."

Buffy felt tears of her own when her father pulled her into his embrace. For so long she thought he didn't love her, that she was such a horrible daughter and he wished she was never born, but here he seemed to genuinely care. Buffy shook her head, coming back to herself as she moved away from them. "No, this isn't real, you're not here. I want William." She banged her head against the wall, ranting over and over that she wanted William, and screaming when someone tried to touch her. This couldn't be real. She hadn't been in the institution for a year, something was very wrong.

* * *

"Buffy, love, wake up."

She jumped at his voice, throwing her arms around him in relief. "Oh, God, I was back there. It was as if I never left, but it was different. My parents were there, and they were together. They hardly ever visited me and if they did, it was always separately. The worst thing was that they wouldn't let me see you, I cried out for you so many times, but no one would listen."

Spike rubbed her back soothingly, whispering words of comfort in her ear. "It's okay now, baby, it was just a dream."

She pulled away, shaking her head. "This was more than a dream. It felt so real. What if I'm still there? What if I never left and none of this ever happened?"

He laid her back down in his bed, rubbing his hand over her forehead to feel how warm she was. "It's the drug, Buffy. Whatever Drusilla did to you, it's making you see things that aren't there. I called Giles, and he's going to help figure out what she put in you. In the mean time, you need to get some sleep. I'll be right here."

Buffy gazed up at him, gripping his hand in hers. "Promise?" she whispered, feeling her eyes start to get heavy.

Spike smiled, bringing her hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "I promise."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"She's not getting any better, Rupes. I hear her mumbling in her sleep about everything not being real. I just don't know if she means me or them, but I'm really starting to worry. Have we found a cure yet?"

Giles shook his head. "I'm afraid not. I did an analysis of the toxin, it's a drug that not only causes hallucinations, but it makes your biggest fears come true. To Buffy, that would be her back in the institution. The only way for her to beat this is to face her fears. She needs to realize for herself what's real and what's not, or she may be stuck in her nightmare forever."

Spike knew his girl was strong, but he prayed to anyone that would listen for her to get through this.

* * *

"We can't wait for you to come home, Buffy. Your room is just how you left it. We can be a family again; you just have to let us help you."

Buffy glanced away from her, letting out a breath. "You can't help me. I need William."

"Sweetheart, please, you have to stop with this. There is no William, and there is no Sunnydale. It's all in your mind, honey. I know you feel loved in this world that you created for yourself, but no one loves you as much as your father and I do. You have to do as the doctors say if you ever want to get better. We miss you so much," Joyce pleaded.

Buffy felt tears in her eyes, gazing back at her distressed mother. "What do I have to do?"

* * *

"I'm glad you have finally decided to cooperate, Buffy. You need to leave that world behind you, but there is only one way to do that. In order for these delusions to end, you must take your own life in the fantasy world. Once you die there, you will come back to yourself and never return to that place again. It is the only way."

She shook her head. "No, I'll never see William again. He's all I have."

"You won't need him anymore, Buffy. You'll have your home, and your parents back. Isn't that what you've always wanted? William is just a figment of your imagination," the doctor explained. "When you do this, you'll finally be free."

* * *

"Hey, you're awake," Spike said with a smile, sitting on the edge of his bed. "How are you feeling? I called your mum, she's worried, but I assured her that I was taking care of you. I don't know if that made her more worried or not."

"Mom," Buffy whispered, giving him a small smile. "I feel fine now. I think it's nearly out of my system."

Spike sighed in relief. "That's great to hear, love. I should fix you something to eat, you're probably starving."

"Actually, I'm still kind of tired. I think I'm gonna rest a bit more."

He nodded. "All right, I'll bring you something in a little while." Spike touched his lips to her forehead, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

When he was gone, Buffy got out of bed. He would be the one thing she'd miss about this world, but she wanted to go home. It was time.

* * *

"How is she doing?"

"Better, but something doesn't feel right. She seemed a bit off, and it's only been twelve hours. I doubt she would be doing this well so soon. I was hardly able to wake her at all the last time I was in there," Spike responded.

Giles gave it some thought. "She is the Slayer; perhaps it doesn't affect her as much."

He shook his head. "Drusilla wouldn't use something on her that wasn't strong enough. Something is definitely not right." With that thought in mind, he hurried back to his room, only to find Buffy gone, and the window open. "Fuck," he cursed, picking up the note he found on his pillow. Spike cursed to himself again, making his way back out to Giles, and handing him the note. "She took off; it says that she's going home. Bloody hell, she's chosen to stay there. I have to get her back before she loses herself completely."

"How will you be able to find her?"

Spike gave him a look. "I'll always be able to find her."

* * *

Buffy got to the top of the cliff, looking down on the town that she created, knowing it would soon all be over. She closed her eyes, the wind whipping her in the face, but she hardly even felt it. She took a step forward, but instead of feeling herself start to fall, a body crashed into her, pulling her away from the edge.

"Are you bloody crazy?"

She struggled in his embrace. "Let me go, I have to do this. I have to be free."

He grasped her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "You won't be free, you'll be dead."

Buffy shook her head. "The doctor said I had to kill myself. It's the only way for me to get better. My parents need me; I've caused them so much pain. I have to make things right."

"What about me, Buffy? I need you here. This is where you belong. Your mum is at home worried sick about you. What? You're going to leave her for a family that doesn't even exist anymore? Your dad screwed up, I know it's horrible, but everything is not perfect in that other world, I don't care what they say." He could tell that he was starting to get through to her at the sight of her tears, cupping her face in his hands. "You can feel me, Buffy. I'm as real as they come. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere. Not without you. This is not who you are, baby. You're a fighter, no matter how tough things get, you never give up. I need you to come back to me."

She shoved him away, taking a step back. "How can any of this be real? Vampires? Demons? A hellmouth? That's insane, my parents were right all along. It can't be real. Those things aren't supposed to exist. You're not supposed to exist."

Spike stood up, feeling tears of his own at the expression of anguish on her face. "You're breaking my heart, Buffy, whether it beats or not. Don't you see? This is exactly what Drusilla wanted. She knew killing you herself would have been too easy. She wanted us both to suffer. You with your delusions, and me with having to watch you go through this. Well, I'm not about to let her win. You want out of this world? Fine, I'm going with you."

Buffy wasn't expecting that. "What?"

"It's almost sunrise. I'll take the ring off, and we can both burn together. I'm not about to be in a world without you in it."

"No, it's just supposed to be me. You can't do that. Why would you do that?" she said hysterically, tears streaming down her face.

Spike moved closer to her, caressing her cheek softly. "Haven't you figured that out yet? I'm so in love with you that I can't even think straight anymore. You're on my mind every bloody second of the day. I've lived a very dreary existence, sweetheart, but that all changed when you came into my life. For the first time in over a century, I actually feel alive, and that's all because of you. You're my entire world, and there is nothing more real to me than that."

She was sobbing uncontrollably now, collapsing to the ground and taking him with her. Buffy clutched him to her; crying against his chest and feeling his strong arms surround her.

"You're safe now, baby. I won't let anything hurt you again. I love you."

When her sobs died down a bit, she held him tighter as the sun started to shine down on them. "I love you, too. I'm so sorry about everything. You're the only thing that's ever made sense to me, and I should have remembered that. It all started to click when you were willing to die with me. I don't think anyone in that other world would have made such a sacrifice. You're the only one who's ever loved me that much."

He pulled away to look at her, wiping her tears with his thumb. "And I always will."

She smiled, capturing his lips with hers in a tender kiss, and touching her forehead against his. "Take me home."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Do you need anything? Food, water, I could make you some soup."

Buffy shook her head. "I'm fine, Mom, you don't have to worry. I'm not going to lose myself again. And even if I did, I'll always have Spike to bring me back."

He grasped her hand in his, glad that her mother was letting him be in her room. He wasn't ready to leave her side just yet.

Joyce nodded. "I'm grateful for that. After finding out everything you've had to go through since becoming this Slayer, I'm very relieved to see you have someone watching your back, even if that someone is a vampire. I'm sure it could be worse."

Spike figured that was the best he would likely get from her.

"I'll just let you rest, but I'll be right downstairs. Don't make me regret letting him stay up here," she said sternly, turning to make her leave, but stopping at the sound of her daughter's voice calling her back.

Buffy jumped up and gave her mother a hug, something she hadn't done in a long time, tears stinging her eyes when her mom returned the embrace. "I'm sorry, Mommy. I'll be better now, I promise. I'll try to do well in school, and I'll be extra careful on patrol. You'll never have a reason not to trust me again. I'll make you proud of me some day."

Joyce felt tears of her own, pulling Buffy away to get a good look at her. "I'm already proud of you, honey. You are growing up to be a truly amazing woman, and it was about time I realized that."

Buffy smiled, moving back to the bed once Joyce left them alone. She sighed in contentment when Spike pulled her into his arms. They laid there in silence, until she broke it a moment later. "I know things are better with me and Mom now, but I'm still so ready for that vacation."

He laughed, kissing her temple. "You'll get no complaints from me."

* * *

They found themselves out at the Bronze a few nights later, dancing slowly to the music, not a care in the world.

Spike ran his fingers down her sides, holding her close. "You want to go somewhere a little more private?"

Buffy didn't need to be told twice. She led him to the back of the club where the restrooms were located, and seeing that the ladies' room was empty, pulled him inside, not hesitating before crashing her lips to his. She pushed him against the wall, sucking on his neck as she unzipped his pants to free his hard cock.

Spike moaned at the feel of her warm hands on his erection, losing what little control he had left. He ripped her shirt open, sucking on her pert tits, which hardened at his touch. He bunched her skirt up, raising his eyebrows at the sight of her not wearing any panties. "Naughty girl," he said with a grin.

"They just get in the way."

He wasn't about to argue with that, guiding his cock to her opening and pushing all the way inside, catching her scream with his mouth. Spike fucked her hard against the wall, knowing that anyone could catch them in the act, but was finding it so hard to care. "Come for me, baby. You're so close."

Buffy threw her head back as her orgasm hit, biting into his shoulder, which had him coming right behind her.

Spike roared out his release, burying his head against her neck. He immediately heard voices headed in their direction, and before Buffy could say anything, he ushered her into one of the stalls, closing the door behind them just as two girls entered the bathroom.

"God, that bartender is so fucking hot. He didn't even bother to card me."

"I think he was too preoccupied by you thrusting your breasts in his face, Harmony. Don't you find that a bit tacky?"

The blonde rolled her eyes. "What is your deal lately, Cordy? You've been a total buzz kill, and you've totally stopped tormenting lame Buffy Summers. What's that about? Since you haven't been torturing her, no one else thinks they're allowed to. She was out on the dance floor practically dry humping that guy she was with. What a complete slut, I wanted to say something about it, but I didn't think I should since you're obviously not interested in making her life hell anymore. What does he see in her, anyway? A guy like that could get anyone he wants, why waste time on a total loser? Maybe she's a charity case or something."

Spike could tell that Buffy wanted to barge out there and rip Harmony Kendall a new one, but he held her back, moving over to her ear. "Don't let them get to you, love. As I said before, you're twice the woman they are. Those twits can't even hope to hold a candle to you."

She calmed down at his words, gasping when a finger entered her wet pussy, seeing the smirk on his face and knowing this was just his way of distracting her.

"Whatever, Harm, she's not even worth it. I just have better things to do with my time."

Spike heard them leave a few minutes later, exiting the stall after Buffy came all over his fingers, laughing when she nearly stumbled over her feet.

"Shut up," she said, heat kissing her cheeks. "It's just a good thing those morons didn't recognize you, but I still think you should have let me hit them."

He waved his hand in the air. "It wouldn't have been much of a fight, but since I'm feeling so generous at the moment. You tell me anything embarrassing that you wish for them to do, and I'll make it happen."

Buffy grinned, really loving that idea. She slammed him back against the wall to show just how much she appreciated his suggestion, locking the door this time. It was hours later before they left the Bronze.

* * *

"Holy crap, Jonathan, how did you get a babe like Cordelia Chase to ask you out?"

The brunet boy shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm not about to question my good fortune. She's going to finally make me popular, and that's all I care about."

"He's mine, you bitch!"

"No, he's mine!"

Jonathan ran down the hall to see Cordelia and Harmony in the middle of a cat fight, feeling turned on at the display, while a bunch of students cheered around them.

Harmony spotted him. "Pooky, tell her that you belong to me now."

Cordelia scowled at the blonde bimbo. "Pooky? You have no right to call my boyfriend any of your lame ass names."

Jonathan's eyes widened, still beyond shocked that two of the most popular girls in school were fighting over him. This new cologne really worked. "Ladies, please, there's plenty of me to go around."

Buffy smiled as she watched them at a distance, her arms crossed over her chest. "Is it wrong of me that I don't feel at all bad about this?"

Spike chuckled. "If you ask me, they had it coming, and that kid could use the ego boost. From what I've heard, they've terrorized the bloke for years. I'm just giving back to the less fortunate. Besides, they'll forget all about it tomorrow."

"Yeah, but we won't," she said, flashing him a seductive grin. "Dating a vampire really has its perks."

He licked his lips, pulling her over to the library, the doors closing behind them.

**The End**


End file.
